Nevada Convert Posted January 17 Author Posted January 17 On 1/17/2025 at 12:19 PM, tailingpermit said: The original title to his book was “Threat Level Midnight.” I had a top literary agent in New York City, but he wanted 2 more chapters and I was burnt out. So I never did it. It wasn't about making money. Most of the proceeds were to go to a no-kill animal shelter here in Vegas what is now the Animal Foundation. It's was just setting the record straight and documenting what really happened. I got a little carried away, obviously, but that was the original intent. Also, my idea about the crossfade at the end of Jeremy I gave to Eddie when he came back for a visit to get more stuff makes me feel icky now because of the subject matter and video. But that's just me being a 60 year old that's changed. We went over all the songs and I gave my 2 cents on each one. He called me during a vocal take during the VS. studio recording and they were in a big house with multiple rooms and lots of decorative lighting I remember. That was a special phone call. One New Years Eve he called me and he was at a party that I believe was at Ann or Nancy Wilson's house, and he got them on the phone to say hi, and they were hammered. Such a trip to hear Eddie with these famous people. After Cobain shot and killed himself, I got a message on my answering machine which scared me so much, I assumed I'd hear on the news that he was no longer with us the next morning. He was on tour and I had no idea how to call someone to help him and I had no idea what tour stop they were on. Thank god, nothing happened. He used to call while I was working a graveyard shift when I was driving a truck....that was when I was going to UNLV. He'd be hammered and really upset with all the pressure he was feeling. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to say anything personal. Eddie wasn't terribly thrilled with me setting the record straight so publically, so that's another reason I chose not to finish it. But now, it's harmless stuff that fans might find interesting, so I don't have a problem letting people see it. I truly loved Eddie like a brother when we were closest in the first 6 or 7 years. I met him in late 1986 at San Diego Petroleum Corp. and that first 10 years he was like a true brother. 2 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 17 Author Posted January 17 On 1/17/2025 at 12:46 PM, Nevada Convert said: I had a top literary agent in New York City, but he wanted 2 more chapters and I was burnt out. So I never did it. It wasn't about making money. Most of the proceeds were to go to a no-kill animal shelter here in Vegas what is now the Animal Foundation. It's was just setting the record straight and documenting what really happened. I got a little carried away, obviously, but that was the original intent. Also, my idea about the crossfade at the end of Jeremy I gave to Eddie when he came back for a visit to get more stuff makes me feel icky now because of the subject matter and video. But that's just me being a 60 year old that's changed. We went over all the songs and I gave my 2 cents on each one. He called me during a vocal take during the VS. studio recording and they were in a big house with multiple rooms and lots of decorative lighting I remember. One New Years Eve he called me and he was at a party that I believe was at Ann or Nancy Wilson's house, and he got them on the phone to say hi, and they were hammered. Such a trip to hear Eddie with these famous people. After Cobain shot and killed himself, I got a message on my answering machine which scared me so much, I assumed I'd hear on the news that he was no longer with us. He was on tour and I had no idea how to call someone to help him and I had no idea what tour stop they were on. Thank god, nothing happened. He used to call while I was working a graveyard shift driving a truck when I was going to UNLV, and he'd be hammered and really upset with all the pressure he was feeling. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to say anything personal. I truly loved Eddie like a brother when we were closest in the first 6 or 7 years. I met him in late 1986 at San Diego Petroleum Corp. and that first 10 years he was like a true brother. Sorry, I added some extra text, TP. Also, the Summer of Steele wasn't me trolling. That was me getting way too carried away and dumb just having got into sports again. So I own some of the dumb things I've done. But most of the time, my opinions were twisted or exaggerated to troll at varying degrees. 2 Quote
Sactowndog Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Mike, since you posted 9 hours ago, I take it you are still with us. I’m glad as the world is a better place with you in it. I think about you each day and hope you are alive but not in pain. Life in agonizing pain isn’t life. Hopefully the encouragement and kind words you have received from both sides gives you comfort, peace and strength. Though we fight like cats and dogs this board is like a family and losing you is like losing a member. in my thoughts and prayers 1 Quote
MrBug708 Posted January 18 Posted January 18 As someone dealing with cancer right now, and waiting to do surgery, I just wanted to say F Cancer. It's a pretty heavy diagnosis and while Im not terminal, or even if pain at the moment, I get it. There is still a lot to live for, but only you know the physical and mental pain you are going through and how to handle it. It just sucks that we are dealt a bad hand. I hope you reconsider, but...I get it. 3 2 2 Quote
Supersix Posted January 18 Posted January 18 On 1/17/2025 at 10:46 AM, Nevada Convert said: I had a top literary agent in New York City, but he wanted 2 more chapters and I was burnt out. So I never did it. It wasn't about making money. Most of the proceeds were to go to a no-kill animal shelter here in Vegas what is now the Animal Foundation. It's was just setting the record straight and documenting what really happened. I got a little carried away, obviously, but that was the original intent. Also, my idea about the crossfade at the end of Jeremy I gave to Eddie when he came back for a visit to get more stuff makes me feel icky now because of the subject matter and video. But that's just me being a 60 year old that's changed. We went over all the songs and I gave my 2 cents on each one. He called me during a vocal take during the VS. studio recording and they were in a big house with multiple rooms and lots of decorative lighting I remember. That was a special phone call. One New Years Eve he called me and he was at a party that I believe was at Ann or Nancy Wilson's house, and he got them on the phone to say hi, and they were hammered. Such a trip to hear Eddie with these famous people. After Cobain shot and killed himself, I got a message on my answering machine which scared me so much, I assumed I'd hear on the news that he was no longer with us the next morning. He was on tour and I had no idea how to call someone to help him and I had no idea what tour stop they were on. Thank god, nothing happened. He used to call while I was working a graveyard shift when I was driving a truck....that was when I was going to UNLV. He'd be hammered and really upset with all the pressure he was feeling. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to say anything personal. Eddie wasn't terribly thrilled with me setting the record straight so publically, so that's another reason I chose not to finish it. But now, it's harmless stuff that fans might find interesting, so I don't have a problem letting people see it. I truly loved Eddie like a brother when we were closest in the first 6 or 7 years. I met him in late 1986 at San Diego Petroleum Corp. and that first 10 years he was like a true brother. When was the last time you and Eddy spoke to each other? Quote
Jack Posted January 20 Posted January 20 Been gone for a few months and it saddens me to just now see this. Plz try to rest easy, God speed Mike. 1 1 2 Quote
modestobulldog Posted January 24 Posted January 24 Mike, I have been mostly absent from this site for a while. Prayers for you. Hang in there. 1 1 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 24 Author Posted January 24 On 1/23/2025 at 9:58 PM, Sactowndog said: Hey Mike. You still with us buddy? Not for long. I'm not looking forward to having to check out early, but it's coming very soon. This is so brutal to have to go through when all I want to do is LIVE!!!! I WANT TO LIVE!!!! 1 5 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 24 Author Posted January 24 On 1/18/2025 at 9:48 AM, MrBug708 said: As someone dealing with cancer right now, and waiting to do surgery, I just wanted to say F Cancer. It's a pretty heavy diagnosis and while Im not terminal, or even if pain at the moment, I get it. There is still a lot to live for, but only you know the physical and mental pain you are going through and how to handle it. It just sucks that we are dealt a bad hand. I hope you reconsider, but...I get it. Thanks. I've been suffering badly for 1.5 months now, and it's just too much to bear. You'd only understand if you were in my shoes and could feel what I'm feeling. 2 Quote
Sactowndog Posted January 25 Posted January 25 On 1/24/2025 at 3:44 PM, Nevada Convert said: Not for long. I'm not looking forward to having to check out early, but it's coming very soon. This is so brutal to have to go through when all I want to do is LIVE!!!! I WANT TO LIVE!!!! Prayers for peace, Mike. If it’s in consolation I’m all in on it’s the good who die young. You will feel Christs amazing love soon I’m sure and I will live to 100. Btw Been feeding our wild barn cats religiously in your name. I will see if I can get a picture of him. He’s pretty feral. I now call him Mike. as close as he will let me get 1 1 3 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 On 1/10/2025 at 8:00 PM, The San Diegan said: Love ya man. I know we never met IRL or anything, but there is enough crossover between our respective lives that I felt a bond of sorts with you. Well, that and the cats - it was the fuzzbutts that bind us. I will miss your contributions, and of course, seeing you around these parts. I am truly saddened by this, and wish you peace in your heart and soul and Godspeed in your journey. All my love, TSD I just wanted to say again that I appreciate you so much. Our connection with cats has been a special one. And as a human being, you're as good as it gets. Wish we could've met in real life. I love you so much, man. I really do. 2 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 On 1/24/2025 at 8:57 PM, Sactowndog said: Prayers for peace, Mike. If it’s in consolation I’m all in on it’s the good who die young. You will feel Christs amazing love soon I’m sure and I will live to 100. Btw Been feeding our wild barn cats religiously in your name. I will see if I can get a picture of him. He’s pretty feral. I now call him Mike. as close as he will let me get That is so cool. It's amazing how much humanity this thread has brought out in some of us. You're a special person, dude. You really are. Love you much, man. 2 1 Quote
bornontheblue Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Mike , I don’t have cats because my Labrador retriever fixates on them, but here is Molly ( Yellow) and George ( Blabk ) 1 Quote
Sactowndog Posted January 26 Posted January 26 On 1/25/2025 at 4:43 PM, Nevada Convert said: That is so cool. It's amazing how much humanity this thread has brought out in some of us. You're a special person, dude. You really are. Love you much, man. Thank you. Can you tell me what the convert emoji represents? Is this what you would like it to represent? Also unicorn or cat? 1 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 On 1/25/2025 at 11:22 PM, Sactowndog said: Thank you. Can you tell me what the convert emoji represents? Is this what you would like it to represent? Also unicorn or cat? Defintely a cat. The unicorn represents the troll in me that I regret doing so much. So definitely a cat. 1 Quote
The San Diegan Posted January 26 Posted January 26 On 1/25/2025 at 4:39 PM, Nevada Convert said: I just wanted to say again that I appreciate you so much. Our connection with cats has been a special one. And as a human being, you're as good as it gets. Wish we could've met in real life. I love you so much, man. I really do. Please don't discount the possibility yet my man. As long as you have a breath in your body, I - and I know I am not alone in this regard - will hold on to hope that you keep fighting the Good Fight. When my nerve pain scaled to the point where I would tell my wife every other week or so I didn't think I wanted to continue living like this, she reminded me God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Idk if the sentiment has merit or if it's pure bullshit, but it did ignite a chord of obstinance in me that made me throw deuces at the idea of giving up. So I now tell you the same. With that in mind, pain is so subjective and I can only imagine how much pain you must be in to reach the conclusion you did, and I sadly must respect your decision to tap out should that be/remain your decision. But I do hope all the love we all have for you here - despite never having known each other irl - helps bolster your strength and gives you some reason to reconsider. Also, I sent your sister a video of my fuzzbutt demonstrating his knowledge of social decorum. ☺️ Should you continue on this path, please come back as a cat and find someone like us, as I doubt there is a richer reward in all of heaven. Peace and love, brother. 1 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 On 1/26/2025 at 12:46 PM, The San Diegan said: Please don't discount the possibility yet my man. As long as you have a breath in your body, I - and I know I am not alone in this regard - will hold on to hope that you keep fighting the Good Fight. When my nerve pain scaled to the point where I would tell my wife every other week or so I didn't think I wanted to continue living like this, she reminded me God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Idk if the sentiment has merit or if it's pure bullshit, but it did ignite a chord of obstinance in me that made me throw deuces at the idea of giving up. So I now tell you the same. With that in mind, pain is so subjective and I can only imagine how much pain you must be in to reach the conclusion you did, and I sadly must respect your decision to tap out should that be/remain your decision. But I do hope all the love we all have for you here - despite never having known each other irl - helps bolster your strength and gives you some reason to reconsider. Also, I sent your sister a video of my fuzzbutt demonstrating his knowledge of social decorum. ☺️ Should you continue on this path, please come back as a cat and find someone like us, as I doubt there is a richer reward in all of heaven. Peace and love, brother. I don't think you understand how extreme it is. My body rejects all pain meds and even blood pressure meds. It rejects virtually all meds. I can't put it into words how extreme the burning pain is. I LOVE LIFE and have tried everything. Everything. It tortures me to think about ending my life, but the fact is that I'm terminal. I'm just getting worse by the day. The end is near, whether I have a massive heart attack from my 230/130 blood pressure or not. I will have an untreatable massive heart attack soon if I do nothing. But I appreciate your concern, and I love you, brother. I really do. 2 Quote
The San Diegan Posted January 26 Posted January 26 On 1/26/2025 at 12:22 PM, Nevada Convert said: I don't think you understand how extreme it is. My body rejects all pain meds and even blood pressure meds. It rejects virtually all meds. I can't put it into words how extreme the burning pain is. I LOVE LIFE and have tried everything. Everything. It tortures me to think about ending my life, but the fact is that I'm terminal. I'm just getting worse by the day. The end is near, whether I have a massive heart attack from my 230/130 blood pressure or not. I will have an untreatable massive heart attack soon if I do nothing. But I appreciate your concern, and I love you, brother. I really do. I get that man. And I sincerely apologize if my post appeared or read as an effort in any way to minimize or marginalize your pain. I'm just lobbing Hail Marys and tbh I can't throw a tight spiral nearly far enough to matter. And holy shit bro. 230/130?!? I spent the day in the ER with my old man a few weeks ago watching that monitor and can't imagine someone as (comparably) young as you living with that on the regular. Good God man...r love is And thank you. Please know youOther r love is both appreciated and reciprocated. While we came up 5-10 years apart from each other, there is enough crossover in the ven diagram of our lives that it whenever I think about TJ, PLU, 2nd St, or Pearl Jam I will be hard-pressed not to think of you in the same frame. Much love bro. 🥃🥃 1 Quote
Nevada Convert Posted January 26 Author Posted January 26 On 1/26/2025 at 2:35 PM, The San Diegan said: I get that man. And I sincerely apologize if my post appeared or read as an effort in any way to minimize or marginalize your pain. I'm just lobbing Hail Marys and tbh I can't throw a tight spiral nearly far enough to matter. And holy shit bro. 230/130?!? I spent the day in the ER with my old man a few weeks ago watching that monitor and can't imagine someone as (comparably) young as you living with that on the regular. Good God man...r love is And thank you. Please know youOther r love is both appreciated and reciprocated. While we came up 5-10 years apart from each other, there is enough crossover in the ven diagram of our lives that it whenever I think about TJ, PLU, 2nd St, or Pearl Jam I will be hard-pressed not to think of you in the same frame. Much love bro. 🥃🥃 In 2001 I had a similar episode, and they started pumping me with meds and my blood pressure spiked at 376/190. Luckily some meds worked and they saved me. No stroke. That would kill me today. With no meds working, I'm screwed. This time my brain isn't settling down. Love you, brother. I'm really close. 2 Quote
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